Drunken Babysitter

So I am sitting here (not on the Group W Bench) babysitting the Jacob, the godson, the cutest baby of the Modern Era, having a coupla Molsons and what do I see on the back label but some clever marketeering: the aforementioned label has a sillhouette of a hockey player about to unleash a blistering slapshot underneath the caption, "he shoots, he scores."

Accept no substitutes.